


make it feel like the first time

by piginawig



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 11:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15411693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piginawig/pseuds/piginawig
Summary: “Eddie,” Beverly said, grinning. Eddie felt his heartrate speed up and focused on taking a deep breath. He was 17, he hadn’t carried around his aspirator in ages, and he wasn’t about to have a panic attack in front of his friends over a stupid party game. “Truth or dare?”Eddie gets asked about his first kiss. Too bad he lied about the fact that he's had one.





	make it feel like the first time

“Eddie,” Beverly said, grinning. Eddie felt his heartrate speed up and focused on taking a deep breath. He was 17, he hadn’t carried around his aspirator in ages, and he wasn’t about to have a panic attack in front of his friends over a stupid party game. “Truth or dare?”

                He debated his options. So far, Bill had to shove a Cheeto up his nose and then eat it, Mike had to lick the inside of the fireplace, and Richie had to run naked down Bill’s street. However, Stan had to admit that he found Mike the most attractive of all the losers (the exact question, from Richie, had actually been “which one of us are you most likely to jack off thinking about?”), and Ben had to confess his years-long crush on Beverly. Beverly, who had just finished her turn, had then been dared to kiss Ben. It had taken a moment for the group to calm down (Ben’s face was still bright red, and Eddie figured that wasn’t going to change so long as Bev kept holding his hand) but eventually they had, and Beverly had turned to Eddie, the last of the seven to take a turn.

                He debated for a moment which option to choose. Bev was the scariest of all of them and he was terrified to imagine what kind of dare or question she could come up with. He looked at the mischief gleaming in her eyes and felt a chill go up his spine. Figuring he was screwed either way, but at least it would be less painful if he could do it from the comfort of where he sat on Bill’s living room floor, he finally croaked out, “truth.”

                Bev smirked. “Tell us about your first kiss!”

                A low chorus of “ _ohhhh_ ”s sounded from his friends. “You gotta tell us now, Eddie! You should’ve known you can’t keep a secret from us!”

                In all honesty, it had been a long year since Eddie had lied to his friends and told them he’d had his first kiss. He’d gone to his aunt’s house with his mother for the summer before eleventh grade began. The losers had all come over to his house to say goodbye before he left, and they’d been hugging him goodbye and coming up with a schedule that would allow each of them a phone call with Eddie every six days and allow Eddie to not go a day without talking to one of his friends. Until Richie had announced, “make that every five days for the rest of ya. I’m gonna talk to Eddie Spaghetti every night!”

                They all laughed, and Eddie muttered a soft “beep beep,” at the use of _Eddie_ _Spaghetti_. Everyone thought Richie was joking, even Eddie, until he’d hugged everyone but his very best friend, who had insisted on “saving the best for last.”

                “C’mere, Eds,” Richie said, and Eddie pretended not to notice that Richie’s magnified eyes looked a little misty behind his glasses. Eddie reached up and wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck, and sighed when he felt Richie’s noodle arms around his waist. He squeezed, not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose the safety and warmth he felt in his best friend’s arms. Suddenly he felt hot breath on his ear, and the whispered words, “I’m serious, I want to talk to you every day that you’re gone, okay?”

                Eddie nodded against Richie’s shoulder, worried that if he spoke his voice would come out as a whimper because the tears that had been building behind his eyes all morning were finally beginning to fall. He’d left teary eyed, already missing his friends the moment he buckled himself into the backseat of his mom’s car (she still made him sit in the backseat, claiming it was safer for a boy his size. As though he weren’t old enough to drive the car himself).

                Two weeks into the vacation during Richie’s nightly phone call, Eddie had been shocked by an announcement from Richie.

                “I met a girl at the arcade today,” he said, and Eddie could hear the grin on his face. “I think she actually likes me? I mean, we went out to the diner afterward. She spent like, six hours straight with me. Most people can’t handle that much Richie, but she totally held my hand when I walked her home.”

                Eddie sat, phone clutched in his hand, as an uncomfortable feeling filled his gut. He wasn’t sure what it was. He and Richie were the last two members of the losers club to not have had their first kiss yet. Beverly and Bill had kissed each other as kids, and Bill had shared with Eddie and Richie later that they’d kissed again after the showdown with It. They all knew about the lifesaving kiss Ben had bestowed on Beverly. Mike had been next. Within two months of joining the others in public school he had managed to snag his first girlfriend. Stan, forced to date a girl from his synagogue, had kissed her and subsequently realized he was gay.

                Richie, at sixteen, was still very much a trashmouth, and all the girls at school knew it. None of them wanted to hear him flirt with them in one sentence and then make a joke about fucking their mother in the next. Richie had always seemed okay with it, though and he and Eddie had discussed how unimportant dating was to both of them. Eddie had never found himself interested in a girl. He had a feeling he knew what that meant, but he had yet to unpack that particular piece of information. He told himself it would happen when it happened.

                And then it happened to Richie.

                Three days later Richie had barely said hello before he blurted out, “I kissed her!”

                The uncomfortable feeling in Eddie’s stomach intensified. He wondered if it was jealousy over the fact that Richie had gotten his first kiss. Without thinking, he said, “I met someone, too.”

                “Really?” Richie said, seemingly forgetting about his own news. “Is it a –“ he took a breath, seemingly thinking over whether he wanted to continue. Finally he did. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Because it’s okay, whichever it is.”

                Eddie felt like the breath had been knocked out of him. His heart was pounding and again, without thinking, he whispered, “it’s a boy.”

                “I um,” Richie said, then paused. Eddie waited as he stopped and started his sentence over and over. “I – me too. I mean, boys. But girls, too. Like. I mean. I like both. Boys and girls. So it’s totally cool, you know? What’s, um, what’s his name?”

                Eddie panicked. He hadn’t thought this far ahead; his mouth had mostly been working without the use of his brain for the majority of the conversation. “I’d rather not say. I just – uh, I think I want to keep it private.”

                “Oh,” Richie’s voice sounded disappointed.

                “But I’d love to hear about this girl of yours,” he lied, then listened to Richie explain his first kiss in excruciating detail.

                Once Eddie had returned to Derry, one of the first things out of Richie’s mouth was “did you have your first kiss?”

                Eddie’s jaw dropped but Richie just raised his eyebrows in response.

                “Wait, your first kiss? What’s he talking about?” Stan asked, looking between Richie and Eddie.

                “Sorry Eds, a guy can only keep quiet for so long,” he shrugged, not looking sorry at all.

                Eddie rolled his eyes, hating that this lie was now about to spread to all of his friends. He told them the same few details that he’d told Richie, and refused to give anymore. Again, Richie asked if Eddie had kissed his summer romance. Eddie hadn’t answered, but apparently the blush on his cheeks had caused his friends to all believe he had. For a few weeks they had badgered him to tell them about it, but eventually they all moved on and Eddie thought they had forgotten the whole ordeal.

                Apparently not.

                Now, with his friends all looking expectantly at him, he bit his lip. Should he make up some guy that lived across the street from his aunt, who took him to the arcade and the diner and kissed him at the front door? Or should he be honest? Admit that he was the only one of the seven of them who had yet to kiss someone?

                Eddie looked around the circle at his friends, landing on Richie. He almost frowned. Richie wasn’t looking at Eddie, he was picking at a loose thread in his jeans and keeping his eyes down. Eddie was surprised; normally Richie was the loudest of the bunch, and this subject used to be one of his favorites to tease Eddie about. Eddie wondered what was happening in Richie’s head.

                But his other friends were all still staring at him waiting for an answer, so he mustered up as much courage as he could and admitted, “I’ve never kissed anyone.”

                Without meaning to, his eyes shot to Richie, who’s head shot up. His eyes were wide and Eddie immediately looked away, blushing.

                “Wait, what?” Bev asked. “What about the guy from last summer?”

                “I, um… I didn’t kiss him,” Eddie said quietly. His friends all looked a little confused, so he took another deep breath. “He actually… uh… He actually didn’t exist.”

                His eyes shot over to Richie, who was staring at him intently, with a look in his eyes that Eddie couldn’t place.

                “What d-d-do you mean?” Bill asked.

                “I made it up because I was the only one who hadn’t been kissed yet,” Eddie answered softly, looking at the carpet. “It’s stupid. I wish I hadn’t, but…”

                “It’s okay that you haven’t had your first kiss yet, Eddie,” Stan said consolingly. “I wish I hadn’t had mine. I’d rather it be someone I actually like. You’re just saving yours for someone special.”

                Eddie couldn’t help but notice that Stan’s eyes kept straying to Mike, and he felt for Stan. The two had had many conversations about being gay in a small homophobic town, and Stan had shared his crush on Mike with Eddie months before.

                The night progressed from there like most group sleepovers. No one brought up Eddie’s confession and they ate way too much snack food and watched movies til the early morning hours. When he woke in the morning, Eddie felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. He didn’t know why he’d waited so long to tell his friends; he should’ve known they wouldn’t judge him.

                After a breakfast made lovingly by Mike and Bill, Eddie went back to the living room to get his toothbrush from his bag. As he did, he noticed Richie doing the same thing.

                “Let me go first, Rich,” Eddie said, walking toward the bathroom. “I can still taste last night’s popcorn and soda.”

                “There’s no rule that two people can’t brush their teeth at the same time, Eds,” Richie said, right behind him.

                “There’s no rule but you always wipe toothpaste on my face and I hate it.”

                “Promise I won’t,” Richie said. Eddie looked at him with a raised brow and Richie held out a pinkie. “Pinkie promise.”

                Eddie wrapped his pinkie around Richie’s as they squeezed into the bathroom together. Eddie kept a watchful eye as Richie put the toothpaste on his toothbrush but relaxed a bit when he just put the brush in his mouth. Just as he leaned down to spit, he felt something cold and foamy on the back of his neck.

                “Richie!”

                “I promised not to put it on your _face_ ,” Richie said, mouth full of toothpaste and a smirk.

                Eddie groaned, wiping the toothpaste from the back of his neck and then rubbing it onto Richie’s cheek. “You’re the worst and I hate you.”

                He wiped his face and exited the bathroom, hiding the grin on his face as Richie yelled out, “love you too!”

                Eddie changed into his clothes quickly and began saying goodbye to his friends. They all understood how Eddie’s mom was. If he wasn’t home by 11 AM after a sleepover she’d call the cops to report him missing.

                “I’ll walk you home, Eds,” Richie offered, slipping his beat-up Converse onto his feet. “I gotta do some chores at home today anyway, might as well get it over with.”

                “Since when do you do chores?” Eddie asked, smirking, then laughing when Richie flipped him off. “Alright, let’s go.”

                The walk from Bill’s to Eddie’s was short, and when they made it Richie grabbed Eddie’s hand before he could take the first step onto the porch.

                “Wait,” he said quietly, looking up at the front door. “I wanna talk to you a minute, before your mom realizes you’re home. Can we go over there?”

                He was pointing to the side of the house beneath Eddie’s bedroom window. Confused, Eddie agreed and followed Richie.

                “Richie, what’s-“ his words were cut short when Richie’s hands were suddenly on his cheeks. He had a moment to see Richie’s face right in front of his, before their noses bumped and his best friend’s lips were on his. It was a short kiss, a press of lips and then Richie was pulling back. Eddie took in a sharp breath, his heart racing and lips tingling. His mind was whirring a mile a minute and he wasn’t sure which thought to share. Finally, he said, “You stole my first kiss!”

                Richie nodded dumbly, as though he could hardly believe it either. Eddie stared at him, knowing how red his cheeks were, and couldn’t figure out what else to say. Richie must’ve taken it as a good sign that Eddie hadn’t run screaming yet, because then he said, “Do you want it back?”

                “Wha-?” Eddie’s words were once again cut off by Richie’s lips on his, this time softer and with more purpose. Eddie gasped into the kiss, his hands reaching for Richie of their own accord. Once his mind caught up with his actions, he pulled back, chest heaving. “Richie, what are you doing?”

                Richie’s own cheeks were pink, and he ran a hand through his wild curls. “Um, I mean. I like you, I guess. Surprise?”

                Eddie gaped at his best friend, who was awkwardly shrugging and doing weird jazz hands as he said _surprise_.

                “Sorry,” Richie said finally, when Eddie clearly wasn’t going to answer.

                “No, I just…” Eddie paused, collecting his thoughts. “I’m confused. Can you – I mean, you like me?”

                Richie nodded, avoiding eye contact. “I realized it a couple months ago. Remember when I climbed in your window that night after you failed that history test? And we stayed up til like, six in the morning just talking. I just realized… I mean, I could talk to you forever, you know? But it’s – it’s cool that you don’t, like, I understand that you don’t feel the same way. I’ve probably made one too many jokes about fucking Mrs. K – “

                “Kiss me again,” Eddie demanded, interrupting Richie’s self-deprecating monologue. Richie’s head shot up, his eyes wide. Eddie took a deep breath. “The first two were really short, and surprising. So I didn’t really get to appreciate it.”

                “Seriously?” Richie’s voice came out more like a whisper. Eddie couldn’t fight the grin forming on his face as he nodded. Richie moved quickly but made sure to keep the kiss soft, hands on Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie’s own hands found their way to Richie’s hair as their lips slotted together. When they separated, Eddie didn’t let Richie go far, keeping their foreheads pressed together.

                “Best first kiss ever,” he whispered, grinning.

                “That was technically your third kiss,” Richie pointed out. Eddie pinched his side, causing Richie to shriek and both boys to collapse into laughter.

                “Eddie Bear, is that you?” Eddie groaned as he heard his mother’s voice call out from the front door.

                “Just stay here so she doesn’t see you,” Eddie told Richie, who nodded and then quickly pecked Eddie on the lips one last time. Eddie blushed, taking a few steps back. “Come over tonight?”

                “Yeah,” Richie whispered, smiling widely. Eddie, feeling like he was floating on a cloud, waved and then stepped into his mother’s line of sight. Even as she yelled at him for being a minute and a half late, Eddie couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm honestly not entirely happy with this but I decided to post it anyway. Title from 'First Time' by the Jonas Brothers.


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